Getting Off the Rollercoaster!

[Andabelle]

They probably don't perceive him they way he thinks/hopes they do. He's likely in the same age-range as their DADS!

You sound really good, BTW.

[The Wifey]

((( Addie )))

I'm proud of you and admire your strength. I'm still trying to find my strength. I am going away this weekend camping, by myself. Maybe I'll find strength just waiting for me in the woods. Or, maybe I'll just drink lots of wine and cry all weekend. H won't have a clue either way.

[addie]

Andabelle- I think you're right about his new young friends not perceiving him the way he thinks they do.

Kelly Jo - Thanks for stopping by my thread. Some days I have a lot more strength than others. It takes a lot of courage to go camping on your own. Have a great time!

[W2G]

((((Addie))))

Sorry to hear your H isn't being honest about what he's doing. I hope the physical distance now that you've moved back to hometown will allow you the opportunity to detach... you and your son are better off being away from the mess.. at least for now.

I hope he hits bottom soon my friend!

When are we going to get together?

Hugs,
W2G

[addie]

Hi W2G - good to hear from you! I'll email you about getting together.

My H is very desperate for any attention. He emailed me again last night telling me how lonely he is, how much he misses the connection we shared, how he misses telling me about the ups and downs of his day, playing with S, etc. Meanwhile he is still contacting OW just about every day. When he came back home in June, he verbalized to me how OW is of such poor character, from a dysfunctional family, that she's a s!ut, very selfish
but he's still chasing her. Oh how I'm having a hard time with this.

[Kalni]

Hi addie,
sorry to hear about your H being dishonest. I would confront him. I would do it nicely and to the point. Make sure he understands I am serious about this. And then not mention anything about it... See what he does.
Stay strong addie, you'll do this.
K

[Eagle 2]

Addie,

I'm so sorry that he is so dishonest. I also know exactly how bad that feels. My STBXW is on the phone with OM 2-3 Hrs a day but still denies that it is anything but a "friend". It is like once they start down the road of deceit that they cannot return. Mine lies about almost everything now. Even trivial stuff that does not matter.

I made a deal with myself at the beginning of all of this that I would try as hard as I could to save my M. It was between God and I when I quit. At some point I realized that it was better to move on for me and the kids. I hope and pray that he changes but you have to accept that he may not and you need to let him go at some point.

Take care of yourself.

[addie]

Kalni, Eagle-
Thank you for your comments.

I did confront H today by email about the dishonesty (I was afraid I would lose it if I talked to him over the phone). He actually slipped on something he mentioned in his last email and I was able to point out the fact that he's been in contact with OW. This way he doesn't realize that I've snooped. I told him that our M cannot be repaired until he stops all contact with her and that I will not live with dishonesty. I told him that I cannot believe any of the beautiful things he's saying to me when he's still pursuing OW.

I'll just leave it at that for now.

[happynow]

Hi Addie!

Thank you for checking in on my thread! I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry about your H being so dishonest. I had hoped that he would realize what he was missing since you are so far away from him. I guess he is still baking, as they say.

Did he respond to your email?? I think you did great by calling him on it. I can't wait to hear his response.

I know it is so hard for you!!!! You have been so strong, remember God loves you & so do we!!

(((HUGS)))

[JenInVen]

Oh (((((Addie)))))

I hope he smartens up and quickly. I fear he's going to loose the 2 things in his life that should not be taken for granted.

Please let us know what he had to say when you're ready.