Originally Posted By: one_light
NMD,

Thanks for the perspective. The Monday morning quarterbacking has gone into overdrive as of late. What if? What if? What if?

So you give me another…. What if she would have stuck around to see? Indeed.

When I’m at my best I think that God needed me to go through this so that I will not screw up the next one… the real one… he has in store for me. Damn near impossible to imagine at this point, but your story is inspiring. Very inspiring.

OL


OL,

I have to be totally honest with you... At the start of this, I never thought I could make it through this betrayal... My exW was the only woman I had ever loved so much and trusted with all of me..... However, God carried me... So many times........

I have sooooooooo been there... What if I had _________? Damn.... I must have had a thousand of those.....

In the end, I concluded the following:

I was NOT the perfect H....
I made TONS of mistakes....
I did nothing to violate my M vows....
I made noticeable changes immediately.......
I wanted to work on the M........

She was NOT the perfect W.....
She made TONS of mistakes....
She "knew three years before" there were problems in our M.....
She chose to NOT share these with me.....
She chose NOT to really go to MC...
She chose to blaze out...
She discarded our M of 12 years like yesterday's trash...
She chose to find OM BEFORE our D was final...

In the end, why would I ever want to married to woman like this? I want to be married to a woman who values commitment, integrity and God's law.... People with no character or morals are a dime a dozen....

You, too, will get through this, my friend.... You will find a woman who understands and appreciates you... For your strengths and weaknesses....

I can remember my exW telling me... "You will be another woman's problem now"....... It makes me laugh now..... There were several women who wanted me to be "their problem"......

My new W says she has waited her ENTIRE life to be with me..... She openly says she loves the man I have become..... My new W, well, she is beyond words...... She sees my heart... Something my exW chose not to do...... That is truly her loss...

I am sure my exW is having a grand old time....... I am sure she is proud of her actions and her life....

Meanwhile, I am pondering a name for my D.... Maybe, Esther.... I have a year or so to figure that one out....

Take Care,

NMD

"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret