Thanks for all the kinds words and nudges in the right direction! This week H is having a tough work week because he is trying to get tons done so we can actually take a week off to go to the lake. He is stressed out and I think he considers me one of his stresses too so he pulls away to work more and really insists on sleeping at sisters. He asked me to call him today and cheer him up which I tried to but he was in a meeting. When he called twice today tried to be upbeat and cheer him up a little. I wish he would turn to me rather than away when things get stressful. I think he makes it more stressful than it needs to be. We did ok this weekend. Feels like something is missing sometimes but we kept busy and road some roller coasters last night - whew!! Son of Beast with H and D13 was fun!

Anyway, Yashie- OW thoughts are starting to come back. Dont know why but will push them off until later. And absolutely we feed off eachother's negativity- it is much much better than it used to be. Hoping to get better at that- Act as if time right ellie?
Ellie, thanks for the frank opinion. And Lee, I did have sex for the last year or so and even when I wasnt 100% emotionally- and it does help when someone breaks the cycle. I initiate enought to make him nervous at times? or just surprised. i really like the article you attached. Is it from the sex starved marriage? It describes our downward spiral exactly. I almost forwarded it to H but he is too stressed to take that on today.
Pam- 40 minute drive just to get to his sisters??? 30 minutes for my H - we must really throw them for a loop to go through that!!! i dont get it except that it has helped H and his driving time is his down time. So, it's Ok even if we dont understand it right? Let me know what is working to keep him from going if anything!
Jeanine- thanks for the post- and I think I have tried all your ideas with success. maybe I am not so great at communicating it to this board. Another issue of mine! ha!

h called last night and said dont be mad - I promise it is just work - nothing else.
Thats it for now- thanks for the advice- I seem to stray at times...
Shay