Quote: Truth is he turned my good mood into a bad mood with all his surmising about my mood.
Stop REACTING - H cannot ruin your good mood, only YOU can. This is the point of Act As If - you got into a downward spiral with him instead of Acting As If you were just in a really good mood regardless - and ended up confirming his suspicions that you are not capable of just being in a good mood.
Reread the Five Love Languages - neither sex nor acts of kindness are love languages. Sounds like your language is words of affirmation. His MAY be physical contact, but that's not necessarily so - it's about holding hands, touching etc - sex is only one part. He may simply have a healthy sex drive. By not having sex with him, you are again sending a message that you'll never be able to move on, move forward, and that he can't look forward to a life with you that includes a fulfilling sex life.
Stop asking for reassurances when he's not in any shape to give them. Realize that in order to break the downward spiral, you must be the one to start the upward spiral. How differently might your evening have gone if you simply stuck to your guns that you were in a good mood, suggested something fun to do, etc. .... odds are HE would have been in a better mood by the end of the evening.
And as for him not feeling like you enjoy sex with him - do you tell him at the time? I always thought my H was fantastic in this department - but I'm not very verbal in the sack, so while I THOUGHT these things, I didn't verbalize them. Amazing what a difference it can make when you simply say the things you are thinking!
And you have to be strong enough to take the truth if you want him to tell it to you. If every episode of truth telling is met by your desperate need for reassurances - he'll stop telling you in order to avoid "hurting" you (and really to avoid having to deal with his feelings about hurting you). So you have to be much braver and take things calmly if you want to deal with the truth.
Ellie - "Good judgment is the result of experience. Experience is the result of bad judgment"
