Lola - I may be interupted in this post. Waiting for the gal I am riding to Portland with for my DD's softball tourney this weekend.
My H and I bought our house together 3 yrs ago. Though he asked for it in the D papers and will get because I cannot afford it.
As for the boys. My oldest, I take calls from him sometimes, not often. I believe nothing he tells me. If he wants to see me, he comes to my office. I think I've allowed him here twice since I kicked him out. I pretty much keep him at arms length. I have no rose colored glasses on with him.
My other son. He knows that until he is clean, he cannot be around us. If I see him on the street (rarely) I will talk to him. Other than that there is absolutely no contact. I have moved beyond that breaking my heart. I had to for my own survival. I love him dearly and want my sweet, loving son back. I am not so sure that will ever happen. Meth is worse than the devil in destroying a person I think. I have had to help H keep boundaries here too. He is very easily to this day, manipulated by him. Like I said he has a soft spot for him. He appreciates this. He takes calls from him maybe 2x month to help, he avoids having to see him for the time being. I support this until he is stronger himself.
My youngest son lives on his own and he is fine. We have no problems with him. Do we wish he woudl get more direction. Yes, but he is able to take care of himself and does not try to manipulate us.
My DD, I DESERVE her. If I gave a list of what I wanted in a child she would meet every expectation. She is awesome. She loves to spend time with both of us and we both love to spend time with her.
So to answer you question, I guess I have put up very clear boundaries. I worked past my own guilt. They are now 22 adn 21. They are for all intents and purposes adults. They know right from wrong. The choices they now make in life are their choices, not mine. DB is good for more than just the spouse.
I really can talk. LOL I am gone for the weekend. Hope you have an awesome weekend yourself and you will make it through the day. You are a really strong woman.
