Aud,
Thanks for peering in! You know I would love to go back to school but at this point I don't think this little feeble mind will absorb any information so I don't want to waste any money or anyone's time. I had wanted to go into radio but the money is so small to start as a apprenticeship that being a most likely soon to be single father it will not work. I don't know maybe I'll buy a bag of tea leaves and read where that will take me.

Figgy,
You are right on all ends and I certainly appreciate you peering in as well. I would like to add that I am being a shmuck as well. Each day that passes holds no promise, just slanderous adjectives and the like. I feel as though I have been transported into some bad grade "b" Indie film. I don't know how the wages of all these jobs got so low and the expectations so high. When I was working I didn't think I was making very much money but for all the jobs I have been applying for that I have done already, they are asking about 5-10,000 less a year. Which is odd. My money is nearly gone now so I am white knuckling it. I sent out another 20 apps and sadly even applied to get my old job back I just need to find some traction somewhere.
My "R" has been still on the steady decline so anything that is said by my W or myself is "barbed". I try to stay out of the way but to no avail. I was late for M Son last baseball game because I was picking up her dry cleaning and delivering things for my mother because she is becoming rapidly ill. I had the camera in the car with me and I had the audacity to be late with traffic when I should know that I missed precious moments of the middle son playing. I told her we have a hard drive full of him scratching his crotch, biting his finger nails and staring with glove out forward. I know it was a mean thing to say but it is true and I was tired of doing things wrong while trying to do the right thing.
Anyway, I am boring myself with all this. Thanks to all who have taken the time to peer in....peace