Just as quickly as H slips into quiet zombie mode, he snaps out of it and says he is really looking forward to our lake weekend. Our talk of last week- pretty much a downer for me- seems to be a lifter for him. It is almost like by telling me about this stuff he feels a weight lifted maybe? We very excitedly went to the lake early, had a nice couple of days- fun and a little nervousness on H's part regarding the boat etc. We picked up a new jet ski from across the lake 40 miles- bought used from his coworker. Had a great time with it. Then Saturday night one of his work friends who has a house on the lake invited us over. We had drinks and then took the boat with our friends over to the fireworks on the lake. This is when things went really downhill. H was trying to park and drop anchor to watch the fireworks, I suggested we move out of the middle of the lake (dark and all) and he didnt like my tone of voice and snaps back at me. He starts acting like a jerk, proves me wrong, and jumps to the back of the boat to watch them alone. I was very hurt, upset and didnt see much of them and didnt understand his behavior or why he would treat me so bad. We left and I went to the house and put the kids to bed- he stayed on the dock. I went back down and a huge argument takes over- me trying to convince him I meant nothing by my "tone" and he saying that we were never going to make it and lets leave tomorrow- acting very childish. He takes off on the boat and I sit outside very upset. He came looking for me about 40 minutes later, worried and we talked a little - he calmed down and made love. The next day he said it brought up some old feelings about me bossing him around and the alcohol was not a good idea for him either- made him too sensitive or over react. I'd say. So I lived through it wondering what I see in him at that moment then he turns into a good guy again. He said he wanted to stay and not leave the next day and MOnday turned out to be our best day there- we worked through some situations without stress as far as the cars and overall we had a great time. H apologized a couple of times and said the fireworks were pretty neat- wistfullly since he saw them alone . So last night he went to his sister's house to "reflect", sent me an upbeat email and canceled his dinner tonight. So....pretty good I guess but so frustrating. H complimented me alot when he wasnt worried about the boat. Last night I got upset when i found a CD from a group he saw with OW a year ago- he offered to get rid of it if it bothered me and said "i'm sorry" as in for causing me greif. Anyway this is the update of the continuing saga.
By the way has anyone seen Deanna on the BB lately????

Shay