I have read your sitch, and did find similarities, which kept me following yours.
What did I do. I validated, validated, validated. Acted As If til my face hurt and I felt like my behind was falling off. As much as it sucked the way we separated, (and yes, I know I still have resentment in how he handled it) I know separating has been good for us and I've told him that in conversations. I have tried to keep R talks to a minimum. I let him initiate contact in the beginning. He mentioned once a while back that I was calling him first, emailing first etc. I mentioned that he'd asked me not to and I was trying to respect that. He told me that was old circumstances, not now. I still try to keep it at a minimum so he doesn't feel pressured.
I guess the only thing real significant was putting on a happy face. It made it more comfortable for him to want to come around and over time it made it more comfortable for well timed R talks, that were able to lead to real communication. After a good R talk, I changed the tone back to a happy, fun, light mood. He has a tendency to project how his mother will handle a situaion on to me. He's learning, (and has said as much) that no matter how hard, I'm not going to blow up at him or make him feel guilty for his point of view. (classic mom)
Patience is a virtue I am learning. There have been days I have felt like telling him to take a flying leap, but I keep my mouth shut and paste a smile.
