Yes, I know this, but I feel like I'm a dead horse being beaten over and over and over again... it's just how much more am I suppose to take on responsibility for. I can't take 100% blame, and that's what he wants. I just can't do it. I won't. I have apologized, taken on full accountability for my own. I've tried validating him... it never ends. I can't get out of the past. I haven't made any demands on him, nothing of the sort.
I don't know if he misses me, really. I'm having a hard time with that. I think what he misses is the fact that I am not around physically to do things for him... not me as a person, if that makes sense? He wants to be validated. I understand that. I just can't agree with him... that it's all my fault.
I don't know what I want anymore. I haven't responded to him, because I just don't know what to say. I'm speechless, really. There are too many thoughts going through my head. I don't plan on 'counter-acting' him. I know that will get nowhere- otherwise I would have ripped into him. But no, I didn't.
I just don't know what to say at this point. I guess to me, it's better not to say anything than say something that gets twisted and turned against me.
