Ok, The rest of the story. (Not even going to apologize for the long windedness this time)

This is a 3rd marriage for me. (I was a WAW in the first 2.) I have 4 children from my 1st marriage; 3 boys and 1 girl. Only my daughter is left at home at this point. My H was married once before, and had a long term live in gf. He has no children. Well, I take that back he did get a girl pregnant his senior year, but he’s only seen her once, due to influences of his mother he signed off his parental rights when she was a year old. So until he met me, he has never been in a father role.

I left my first marriage due to drug abuse on the exes part and didnot want my children around it. I left, he stopped, we tried, I got pregnant with DD and I could not get my feelings for him back. So no reconciliation. He chose to walk away from his children. The only time he had contact was when his parents took them to see him. His parents and I have always been close. I felt it was important for my children to have that relationship and so did they. I stayed in my 2nd marriage for almost 9 yrs, he turned out to be gay. I left. End of story there.

When I left my last marriage, I took a new job and moved 3 hours from where we had been living. The oldest had just turned 14, then 13, 11 and DD was 9. I had great kids. All good in school, involved in sports, lots of friends. Over the years I have wanted to blame where I moved them to, or felt guilty for moving them here, because of how things turned out, but I know it could have happened even if we had stayed where we were because its happened to several of their friends. Anyway I met H after living here 2½ yrs, I had started to have little bits of trouble with my oldest 2. In fact the oldest one had decided to go live with his dad and ended up after 3 months moving in with his parents. He did end up moving home eventually. My oldest 2 became involved in drugs. Big time involved. They actually hid it from us very well.

H and I dated for 1 ½ before we got married. Just before we got married, my oldest was arrested. The police came to our house at 5 am and arrested him. Conspiracy to commit robbery I think was the charge. He was a senior in HS and just turned 18, he was found guilty and sentenced to 9 yrs in prison. He was not eligible for early release or any boot camp programs. It devastated me. He had God on his side though and some caring people in the prison system believe it or not, that decided he did not belong in there and found a program that the prosecutor hadn’t thought of, that they were able to get him into that qualified him to be released after only 1 yr. He no longer uses, but he unfortunately has a lot of problems. A lot of the problems that their dad’s siblings have, my 2 oldest have inherited, even without being around them. My oldest is a compulsive liar and is Klepto. I choose not to have him around for more than limited, supervised visits. As devastating as that was, H and I seemed to work through that one.

My 2nd son, is addicted to meth. That became apparent about 3 months after we were married. We were able to get him in rehab, just before he turned 18. This after we’d called the police on him because he’d broke into our home and stole over $10,000 worth of items, broke doors, etc. I was in agreement with H in calling the police. Rehab did good for about 6 months, he managed to get his GED and a job. When he started using the next time, he just didn’t come home for 4 months. He managed to clean himself up on his own that time. Came to me and told me he couldn’t live in our town and stay clean, wanted to move down to his dad’s. We helped him get down there. He did great there for over a year. However, his dad and step-mom were using meth and he walked in on them. Ex has major health issues and when DS confronted him, they kicked him out on the streets of San Diego. We brought him home, but wouldn’t let him live with us, he moved out to my dad’s and was still doing good for awhile. It has since gone down hill in a major way. He is/was living from couch to couch, he’s broken into homes, including ours. Been arrested several times. He is shooting up. Currently he is sitting in jail awaiting trial. That case stems from while we were in MX over Christmas. H and I both had started feeling uneasy about him again, even though there weren’t any real “signs” per se, just more of our own intuition. Everyone else kept telling us how great he looked, he’s doing so well, we just knew in the pit of our stomach something wasn’t right. We both were uneasy about leaving our home unattended while we were out of the country for 3 weeks. We didn’t want to leave my youngest son, who moved out 2 weeks after he turned 18 and had moved home temporarily 2 months before in the position of policing his brother. My dad said he would be more than happy to stay at our house during this time, watch things, take care of the dog etc. We felt like we were leaving things in good hands. Well, my dad ended up letting the wayward son into the home, let him stay here alone while he was out running errands, all things we had agreed would not happen. My youngest son came home, found him here going through things and kicked him out. When grandpa got home he scolded him, but grandpa said it was ok. Early the next morning wayward son broke into the house through a window he’d unlocked earlier, took $60 from my dad’s wallet and his car. My dad discovered it not too long after, called police, they found the car 2 blocks away with wayward son, arrested him. Grandpa got car and money back. Due to overcrowding they let him out 2 days later. Prosecutor decided not to pursue charges, grandpa hounded them for the next 5 months until they did. My dad has yet to own up to allowing him in the house while we were gone.