I want to be so fabulous that H will look at OW & wonder what he ever saw in her.
You already are, you are going to give yourself a hernia trying so hard to outshine the ow that you'll loose yourself. Up to this day I'm still picking up my self-esteem, comparing myself to other women and ow, what I have/dont' have. Whatever changes you want to make do them first and foremost for you.
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If only there was no OW, I would be able to handle the rest, I know it. My H has been through so much in his life, and most of it he neatly packed away into a little box
No you can't, the sooner you understand this the better. I too thought "I" could handle it, the problem is him and not you, we've all been through so much. You can't save him from himself, you can't "fix" him, the ow isnt' the problem, it is his unwillingness to commit, he needs help alright, but from a C, only he can solve his problems.
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H was cycling closer & closer to me, then I found out about OW yet again. I gave the ultimatum, he tried (sortof) but I tried to rush it. Now we have taken many steps backwards.
No he wasnt', all along--before you found out--he was deceiving you and lying to your face, had you not found out he'd prob would've dragged the sitch on and on, not strong enough to break it with either of you. You are blaming yourself for standing your ground and for his weakness, don't! dont' you see? he was putting up a front. I know, really, trust me, how badly you wanted to believe all the stuff he told you about working it out with you and the stuff you guys did together, because I've BTDT. It is guilt as well that makes him lie to you, to spare your feelings.
Don't take responsibility for hisactions.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
