I find myself very withdrawn from my H, although he is trying so hard, and being wonderful...I am not sure what is stopping me in reconnecting with him.
I hear you so loud and clear lady. I went to see a female GP about this just last week. I chose her because her husband is my usual GP and I knew that he had cheated on her - several times. She told me not to expect to feel normal again for years. I went expecting to get put back on AD's and came away with a flea in my ear instead - and also much food for thought.
Anniversaries and other 'meaningful' events I find the hardest to cope with. You are not alone.
I get into a real low period and then find I will sort of snap out of it and think 'well what was the point in staying if I am going to be miserable?' It gets better for a while and then cycles down again....but gradually the depth and length of the bad bits of the cycle gets less. It takes time for all that hurt at the betrayal to come out. It takes time to rebuild trust - it has to be earned. When you are in the midst of the crisis you put so much of your energy into surviving the crisis that you don't get time to process all of the feelings, you don't get to grieve for all that lost innocence and purity and eclusivity in your M/R. You are doing that now....as you gradually heal at the same time - IMHO.
What sort of C are you seeing?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
