toruble on the the lake erie shore...#4!

[The Wifey]

Neilh23,

I'm going to jump in here because I don't think you should send this. Your letter is focused on the past, and on your family history. I know you get around to how they both affected your r.

My h said something that resonated with me about how this is about him. With you upset and not eating, everyone is worried about you, I'm worried about you - its still all about you.

You need to let this be all about her. Her feelings, how you played a part in them sure, but how she is feeling and what she is thinking.

Any letter you eventually send should address what she feels, how you plan to address her feelings, etc and not on why you didn't in the past.

I'm not sure if I'm even making sense. But, the people on here have taught me about true giving. The reading I've done has reinforced the giving. Yes I hurt, I'm scared, I am having a hard time. But when I am with my h I don't let him know any of that. I focus on him.

I ask how work was. Does he want something to drink? Look, aren't the flowers over there pretty? How has the motorcycle rides been going? I ask and then listen. I don't care about what he talks about as long as he talks. And he sees that I am listening.

Don't go backward. Don't tell her why you weren't there for her in the past, just do the work and be there now and in the future.