Helping OW??

[fooled again]

FW,

Thank you for stopping by my thread. I agree, BFM is incredible. You are a very lucky man and she a very lucky woman.

When I get discouraged or when my negative self talk starts convincing me that I should give up and move on, I remember BFM's old posts, what she was feeling (I could have written some of them word for word), what you were telling her. It gives me hope, strength and power over my own mind to reread her posts and remember what she had written. There is so much we LBS's don't understand about MLC and the temptation to walk away is so very, very strong when you don't understand something.

I only wish my H would feel safe enough to talk to me about his feelings for OW. But I think that may be my job, to "allow" him to feel safe, to create that environment. After all, we practically grew up together & I have been w/ H through some of his darkest times. He was always able to talk to me in the past.

I was thinking about the "walls & windows" in Shirley Glass' book. My goal is to try to break down some walls & create more windows b/w H & I so that he can talk to me about ANYTHING & still feel safe. I know there are walls b/w H & OW now - talking to OW allowed me to see that & that gives me hope. And there are already some walls around H & I - I know this too from talking to OW. When (I won't say "if") H starts talking to me about his feelings & about OW, I believe that more windows b/w H & I will start to form and the walls b/w H & OW will become higher and thicker.

FA