I just emailed you my thoughts too Yoyo. I think your H won't man up and make a decision........he'll doesn't want the responsibility/ blame of that.........you and OW can carry that can! BIG man huh?
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
The decision on what to do is totally up to you. Only you can decide what to do. The important thing is you do something and gain control of your situation. For so many months you have been reactive to his behavior rather than proactive. It's an old cliche, but the best defense is a good offense. Start steering this situation the way you want it to go. Quit letting him control you.
The bottom line is if you send the letter, be prepared to follow through with it. If you decide not to send it, then go file.....tomorrrow. You can do it.....
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
I completely agree with Theo's logic and aims, however, the tactics are the question...I think that your H will only start to realize what he has done when the consequences are VERY clear.
One thing my L suggested is the she, the L, send my W a letter outlining what was about to happen.
In my case, the intent is to get my W to go to mediation and save us all a lot of grief and expensive L bills. However, I think it could also work in your case to wake up your H and be willing to take real steps to move on with his life.
Of course, you have to be willing to accept 2 things:
1. He may decide that he really wants a life without you.
2. You cannot back down once you make this ultimatum (whether in the form of a statement from you or a letter from L).
Best wishes (((YoYo))), SD
PS - Theo, I hope life is treating you well!
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
Yoyo--I've been keeping up with your sitch of course, and can't really offer advice--you already have great advice from the Master DBer's here, but just let you know I am thinking and praying for you. I know you are such a wonderful person that everything will work out for you!!! And I have to say I just don't understand how crazy your H is!!!! ((((Yoyo)))) Karen
Thank you friends all of your support. I don't know what I would do without all of you!
Well, my floors are swept and mopped, my bed is made, and I have a load of laundry in the dryer, now I'm going to go do something for me, I'm going to go vegetate by the pool.
Margaritas, anyone?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Hi Yoyo - Ugh!!!! I hate that your H has put you in the middle of this painful situation again. I know of a really good hit man if you're interested... Seriously, it sounds like you know that you need to draw the line.. it's how you do it that's in question.
I guess I don't really have any advice - just know that you are in my thoughts and we are here to support you no matter what you decide.
LO
ps - I HAVEN'T stopped drinking... so I'll certainly take a margarita by the pool!
