Looking for support from other WAS's

[alexjadams]

lost3031,

1. Thank you for being open-minded

2. Let him know you miss him how he deals with that, is up to him you have no control

3. Remember this please
a. Work validates us as men
b. We do it mostly for our wives and family
c. We understand it takes time away from family & that does bother us
d. But we are so focus on where our career is going & what it can do for the family, that we don't stop & take time for the family {when I get this big account I'll take time then, but there will always be a big account = (}

4. You are afraid & he is as well, tell him that you are & acknowledged his fears as well! It will be a shame if 5 years from now you two realize fear stopped you from working on your marriage!

5. The only thing you can do is handle the situation differently than you were before (180's) He is going to do what he does (do the same ol' thing or like you try to change)

6. WAW's are so caught up in their own pain they don't see the LBS has their own pain (we are the reason why you left, we LBS beat ourselves to death on that one, you will never know how much) then you guys add to that pain

7. We are taught (w/ DB & DR) to let go of the pain or bottle it up until you return to us, to be your friend w/out any pressure & to let you guy find what you have been missing, but when you guys do return, we've had years of watching you sleep w/ whomever & whenever, go from hating to loving us & back in minutes, hurting all the ppl around you, all of this usually take years, then when you do come back, we're fed up (role reversal)

8. Last, I leave you with this, & this is something that WAS & LBS seem to forget....
On your wedding day he showed up, he told everyone that you two knew that he was giving up everything he knows to take a very uncertain journey with you and that no matter what happens he would always be there for you! (You did the same thing as well)

Correct me if I'm wrong but there wasn't a huge line of men behind him waiting to be your husband that day? He was the only one who had the balls to show up and follow through with it (he needs to remember this about you too!) After he did that, times got a little tough & your running?
Don't be mad if you get (God forbid!) a life treating illness & he takes off because the chance of losing you is too much & starts looking for your replacement (don't mean to be mean but, this is kind of what you're doing)

With all this being said I'm not putting the blame on you for your current state of your marriage, just trying to get a WAW to realize that this is bigger than them & the damage that this causes to the family as a whole, because the "this is all about me" attitude should have stopped the day you two said "I DO" & replaced with "all about us"

Remember he's at fault for this as well, & there are 3 of you, You, Him, & the marriage, all living things that need constant love & attention