Thanks so much, Ali. I do feel as though I am/have been doing quite well DBing (except for the last little while), which is why we even got to the point that we did. Then I blew it by throwing myself at him as soon as he moved towards me.
He left this morning without kissing me goodbye. I'm trying not to interpret, but it's hard.
just keep smiling, right?
My strength, which I am proud of, is apparently one of the issues in our relationship, makes him feel weak, 'lesser than' in comparison. He has strengths in other areas, such as getting along with all sorts of people - I'll have to remember to compliment him when opportunities arise.
When I look back, even though we've had good times over the years, it's clear that my H has pretty much always felt 'squished' in our M, and this only got worse after the children arrived. Since we've been married 17 years, that means I have another 8 months of real effort ahead of me before I can consider things 'even'. I'm trying very hard to keep acting loving (while not crossing the line into clingy) while trying to accept that this process may involve his moving out.
Today I will probably be working in between driving back and forth to the baseball field, where my S is in a tournament and my H is busy all day, either coaching or umpiring.
I was thinking of offering him a massage tonight, perhaps picking up a movie he can watch during. ?
