Yes, I understand, it was good for me to hear from a professional that Dick was in fact happy in our marriage, as it is true a large percentage of affairs have no reflection of the marriage itself, but truly a reflection of the individual who is having the affair. Albeit true, there is something missing within the person who is having the affair. Many people who "indulge" do love their spouse, and are happily married, however, the guilt, anxiety, the inability to accept the responsibility of what they have done or are doing is beyond their emotional capability. As is obviously is with Dick, he is so emotionally stunted that he is incapable of owning up to his own mistakes. Also, Dick has impulse control issues, which often leads him into the trouble he has within his own life, but he prefers to project those issues upon the people he is closest to. Dick is unable to acknowledge his own issues, so he will not emotionally mature to the point of making amends or even peace with his own past.
Yet, just knowing he really did care, well, at least to his own ability or level, does bring a certain comfort to me.... but knowing he won't be able to acknowledge our real past, or own up to his own responsibilities of what happened, will always blame me, has allowed me to continue moving forward and wanting more of what I truly deserve.
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
