WAW is full steam ahead

[LosingSunshine]

So the W thanked me this morning for letting her go out last night??? Don't know what time she came home because I crashed between 1130/1145 but don't care really. W doesn't have any plans for the weekend so I believe it will be a great opportunity for me to do some DBing.

The one thing I am wondering is now that the ball is totally in her court and she has complete control over what happens next (in terms of unleashing the lawyer or setting up mediation), how long will it take her to actually act? I am mentally prepared for it to happen next week and will obviously do nothing to push her into action.

I have been also thinking about some things that have worked over the past few weeks:

1. I had made one of her favorite pasta dishes for dinner the other night and she has been taking the leftovers in for lunch. I think I will play this card a little more. W has always appreciated my cooking and is one of the things that drew her close to me when we were dating and first married.
2. Quality time with kids. Being an involved father. She said that stuff like this over the past few weeks got her to change her mind from pursuing full custody to wanting joint custody/joint residence (50/50). That's a win if things do end in D but not worried about that for now. I am just enjoying the time I do spend with the kids.
3. It drives her nuts that I don't tell her what I am doing. She has backed off a little from asking me what I did but I can tell that the interest/worry is there. She doesn't understand why I won't tell her when she tells me, asks me etc...I just ask if she has plans for the night and if she doesn't I head out and tell her I'll be back later.
4. Thanks to the sitch, I have lost 20 lbs and am looking great. I have purchased a few new things and she has taken notice. I also try to freshen up and change before every outing to add to the mystery. I still need to quit smoking and also plan to start excersising again here shortly.
5. I have virtually eliminated all stressors from my life except for the sitch and I am working on detaching so that will help. This has greatly helped my PMA and has left her confused as to why I have not acted/reacted the way she was expecting. She was expecting a mean, angry, bitter, over reactive response to everything and I have remained cool and collected, albeit I have said some things that probably were considered pursuing and I need to stop that.
6. Not being overly responsive to emails, vms and calls. This drives her nuts too. She thinks I am ignoring her and I have to reassure her that I am just busy.

Things that haven't worked:

1. The R talks that she gets me into. I have listened, validated, and all that stuff but have often found myself talking a little too much about me, my feelings etc... Some of it is due to her questions and then I just talk too much. I need to slow down and think during these.
2. Worrying about W. Not good for my PMA. I am getting better with this and find it a lot easier to fall asleep at night now than even a week ago.

So, as I begin this weekend, with some opportunity for good DBing, I am thinking about staying dark and need to figure out how to keep the door ajar given that it could be taken as more of the usual behaviour. If anyone has any advice on that it would be greatly appreciated.

Also, going to do some reflection on other actions I can stop/180 that I might have over looked due to my focus on the big ones. Laundry is one of the things in this category. I have been doing mine and the kids. The W has done mine a few times, without my asking. Should I or shouldn't I be proactive and steam/iron her clothes this weekend? I did it the first weekend of the sitch and she was shocked! Haven't done it since and might do it to see what happens. Thoughts?

Chris