Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[ddstartingover]

LMG - I'm not on the boards like I was, but I'm keeping track of your sitch. We are still in this together......unfortunately.

After my H's first rental fell thru I got another e-mail from him this week saying he thinks he has another, but it is not available immediately. He has to wait until the tenant moves out. I replied with "just let me know when you are moving, so the kids and I can be out of the house." No answer to that. But then again, no reply to anything somewhat emotional for some time now.

I'm in the same boat with you. On one hand I want to be supportive and let him go find what it is he's looking for, but on the other I want to knock him in the head and say everything you NEEED is here! I want to be friendly and upbeat around the kids and act as if their life will not be turned upside down----not be bothered by the fact that they do not treat him differently (but in someways are more drawn to him)----but all I want to do is scream "he's leaving me/us and does not care about anyone but himself!" I want to scream the words I get after my kids for saying all the time: "IT IS NOT FAIR!"

But, life is not fair, they say. I'm still day to day on my emotions, but stronger than I was even a month ago. I guess maybe I'm accepting this reality. I've been wondering how the transfer of the kids will go-----which seems utterly ridiculous, treating them like property. I'm sure I will let him be in charge of how it will go----but, I am tempted to change the locks and make him wait at the door..........ughhhhhhh!!!!

His mother is coming up today for the weekend. It will be the first time we've seen her since I let the cat out of the bag-----telling her on the phone when I thought she knew already. Too bad she never believed in discipline (always said he was PERFECT)----I doubt whether she will tell him what an a**hole he's being-----------but it would be nice.