i just hear what you say with out tone...so it seems overwhelming, via what is written...and everyone deserves a mental health day...after working long days this week, cleaning in the 90 degree heat and 90% humidity....big bosses, things crashing when your ready to leave.......
are you a workaholic?
mental health day....nuf said
being in the health bussiness, my job is emotionally and physically straining, on top of my emotional garbage in my home life...so about once every 3 or 4 months...i take a mental health day...if i need to...but i am lucky i work 3 12's and every other week or so pick up an extra 4 or 8 hr shift of bonus which is an extra 15.00/hr it makes it a little more worth worth my while!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
"i just hear what you say with out tone...so it seems overwhelming"
All I was saying.. was sorry I was not there when you needed me.
I will tell you right now.. I am going to come and go.. and I am going to feel bad about it. Won't make it any better.. Its just a fact. You don't worry about me. When I reach my limit.. I will let you know.
"being in the health bussiness, my job is emotionally and physically straining, on top of my emotional garbage in my home life..."
I know where I can work.. and when I need to stop. I brought "No Emotion" here. No matter what happened to me today. I like this place. You focus on you. Thats all I ask.
"are you a workaholic?"
When I leave work.. I leave it there. I am still waiting on the call... that everything is OK. I got Kids fed.. and in bed. If they call at 4:00.. all good. That was the long answer. No. Is the short answer.
"ok...we are not closing anything gumpy mcgumperson!!"
OK.. so we agree.. We are going to do something!!
"I am stuck, have been stuck because no matter what i fear the results. i push him, he falls back....i fall back...he tells friends i ignore him...no matter what i do, i feel it is the wrong move"
Can't move left.. Can't move right. = Distance.
I knew you thought about the wrong move.. along time ago.
"i have to stop obsessing and just throw it out there...bottom line pool needs fixed, it is legally my pool, so i need to take care of it"
Now..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
"All I was saying.. was sorry I was not there when you needed me."
FG...that is so incredibly awesome of you to say...but your family and work come way before me...never ever apologize for those things coming first...you and me will always be good!! we are like peas and carrots...since i don't like peas or carrots...i'm gonna put a spin on that and say you and me we're like corn and green beans!! LOL....i'm glad you get to have time to feed your kids and put them to bed...that is one dream i can not wait to fulfill...children! I bet it's the most awesome feeling in the world! someday...someday....
ok will do work...first and fore most...work on fixing that damn pool!!! LOL!!!
good night FG
think mental health day!! LOL
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
No fg fear... Damn that fear it has gotten the best of me...shud I random text without having fixd the pool sitch? Or fix the pool sitch then start texting agin
Fear
I once read love true love is the abscense of fear
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
FG~ ok, I think I have a plan...I know, I know...i have him-hawed a while with this...but know H a little to well, that anger needed to subside before i made a move.
monday...will text i think i am going to stick with "our plan" for now...a simple text...follow me for a minute...(been doing mental work!! LOL!! Can't say the more I think about this...today I have some thinking time, he really called me to "chat" about the pool. Last year the pump broke...new pump, 300-500$$...he didn't bat an eye to fix that...why now, why does he need my help now? this pool "drama" doesn't make sense to me. I am fully aware "legally" the pool is mine...but looking at this rationally, it is sitting on his property, if he wanted to "bulldoze" it...I haven't been to his house in 4 months...it's not like I would know....or could do a heck of a lot about it...he would just have to pay me my part of the pool, if we would D.....I don't know FG...I think the phone call was a reaction from him regarding the texts...pool was a starting place...i did the bozo no-no bringing up the R/M.
If during the course of the texts he asks about the pool, my proposition is going to be to have a company from town go down and "assess" the pool at my cost...if they can fix it, i will have them fix it, and close it. I want/need some type of understanding from him...this is where it gets hard...he will leave it closed if he isn't going to take care of it, because I can not/ will not bail him out when he is not taking care of it...leave the dang thing shut until we reach some type of agreement...ok part of that is me venting too!! this is as well...I just don't want to fork over a bunch of money, fix the sitch, then he wants to keep using the pool...for a few weeks...and then stops caring for it, and we are right back here in a month or two...unfortunately, I know him all to well, and could so see this happening. damned if I do, damned if I don't!!
thoughts/suggestions!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
FG~ did more work....since he called to "chat" about the pool...and started the conversation with the pool, i have to "believe" he had no ulterior motives. As much as I keep wavering back and forth and d#cking around not wanting to do something about it...my first text will be in regards to the pool. I think he is testing me....he resents the pool...won't take care of/doesn't want to take care of it...it was "my" toy. I paid for it, he really has no tie to the stinkn thing! It was my responsibility physically and financially when I lived with him.
the pool is not a deal breaker. it can be replaced....it's materialistic. i will first offer to have someone come out and remedy the sitch, and close it down...if he chooses to just have me remedy the problem and decides to want to swim...since i have/will be investing money...i will suggest having the company come back to properly close the pool and i will pay for the cover, but he will have to pay for the company to come out at a later date to properly close the pool. I am guessing, from what I have researched online, he didn't even contact a pool company(again guessing!). new liners are no where near what he said they were...the ones i saw were 400, he said at least 1000....and he said would need a new pump....pump was just replaced...i'm not getting it!
i can't/won't let a pool, that can be replaced, be a deal breaker. i think he was starting to feel safe, called...and the sh&t hit the fan....so now i have to make "me" a safe place all over again...i will try to fix the pool first, if he's set on getting rid of the pool...so be it...do i want to be right, or do i want to be happy...so many times before i wanted to be right...those days are long gone....now it's time to be happy!
FG~ i hope you had a good day off!
Last edited by christarn; 07/13/0805:05 AM.
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
