Have you gotten the books yet? If you want to fight for your marriage then listen to what you are told here, learn for yourself, read the books. Remember what hasnt worked and stop doing it. Stop panicking, get off the internet and start going back to the land of the living. You really need to chill out, and stop working yourself into a tizzy, you cant help anything by being like this.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...