We all go through waves of spending too much time on the boards. There are so many sitches and you find little bits of meaning in different ones. You want to keep pursuing that emotional knowledge.
You came here because of W?! I think I need to hear a little more about that.
No, nothing happens overnight. The rule of thumb that MWD mentions is that it takes 1 month of hard work by both parties for every year of marriage. Nothing is going to happen overnight. That's why we say that you should concentrate on yourself and making you the best person you can possibly be. Whether the M lasts or not, you'll always have you.
Hang in there - happiness is never defined through another.
1 month ago, when her mind was already made up and the OM was around, she said "I think you need to read about WAW on this website" she directed me here. Later I was told "the only way we could possibly fix things, if they can be fixed, is for one of us to move out. I need space." so I volunteered to move out. I work 3rd shift and can't take care of my son overnight. So I left her to stay there since it's his home, and so she had a place to cook for and nurture him. long story short she wanted one of us to move out because she didn't want to be around me anymore, partly because of the OM.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
she didn't just drop this bomb out of nowhere...back in april she said "what if i'm not in love with you/I don't think I want to be married" of course I brushed it all off, saying we would work it out, things went back to being good (or so I thought). it's been a few months coming. I shouldn't have been so surprised.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
but on the plus side of this, i'm spending more time with my son, my parents, talking to more family members, and hanging out with some friends. going to start rollerblading again shortly. need to exercise or this 3rd shift will wear me down again.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
1 month of hard work for every year by both parties ...... our 2 year anniversary is in december, and only one party (me)is doing any work whatsoever obviously. so that's that I suppose
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
we have a consultation with a mediator this tuesday.....i had been telling myself "ok you're running out of time.......hurry and do what it takes" i figured after separation and divorce there's no getting her back.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
You can even use the mediation as an opportunity to show how commited you are to making sure that she and your son are taken care of. If you need to stall, tell her that you need your space, Im afraid that if you go into mediation now, you wont be able to represent your best interests. Tell her that you need time to think, settle, deal with your own emotions. Then use that time to DB your butt off!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
isn't it too late ? she wants a divorce. I heard those exact words last night. this other guy is "it" my best interests are my son. She knows her and our son mean everything, and I can't stress enough how important it is that he's well taken care of.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
