Officially Here Now

[7 Year Itch]

Well, I just did the ANTI DB. Totally just lost it. Got off of here after he got the girls to bed and ended up with an hour sob fest. Yep, cheeseless tunnels I went. Sobbing, begging, crying, reminding him of all we have, apologizing.

I think I should become the Anti DB poster child after all this. They can keep my threads as examples of what NOT to do. Lord, I was just a picture tonight.

Yeah. I'll have to find a way to remain stoic from here on out, but I honestly can't imagine it. Then when he was leaving I walked him out, and there are a gazillion stars out tonight (we live in the country so they are so great out here). Anyway, so he went to shut a side gate the girls left open, and while he left I said a prayer out loud to God. I asked him to restore my marriage and to give me a "sign". I told him to "hit me upside the head" I was to stay this course because I was really losing hope. Yeah, you'll never believe what happened next. HUGE streaking shooting star. And H even saw it.


Me: "Whoa, did you see that?"
Him: "Yeah, you definitely see more stars out here than in the city, I caught the tail end of that shooting star."
Me: (insert gasping/laughing/crying) "Oh my God"
Him: (totally confused). "what?"
Me: "Do what you have to do. We are going to be fine"
Him: (deep sigh indicating he thinks I've lost it)

And you know, maybe I have but it sure seemed like the slap upside the head I was asking God for. So I'm going to try to hold on to that.

So now I get to watch for sheriffs vehicles coming up the road. It's so weird that he told me tonight ,because we had one out today, and I got a total lump in my throat as I saw him come down the road. But it wasn't today. But now I guess I can count on a Sheriff next week. UGH. I feel like I'm going to throw up just thinking about it.

Chris