M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
SC, thanks again for stopping by and offering your perspective...it is truly appreciated!
Now, I have to agre with DHs last post. Fantasy, sure. Would I actually committ probably not because i'll be running like hell.
I guess the question back to you is how do I bring this up? I know it can't do any more damage as she'l be contacting the mediator to set a date sometime in the next few days.
Us it a dealbreaker? Probably not as I feel this would be easier to cope with and heal from...I may be fooling myself of course...but she is just so firm on not slowing down. And then that means trying to rebuild post D and who knows when and I just can't wait forever, can I and should I?
Now on the flip side of all of this, she has been unable to read me because she has entered every convo thinking I would explode and I haven't. She is confused about how I have been the last three weeks because of my changes.
I am glad I acted as if tonight because the talk ws basically a recap of last night with the added flavor of her thinking I was going to screw her over because how calm and collected I acted. So I had a lot of reassuring to do and told her the ball was in her court. She has control not me and she agreed.
I am out right now and she'll be going out later with the girls if I don't come to late. And what pisses me off is she wants to spend time with the kids but she is so worn out she naps on the couch after dinner until she leaves. Just irritating.
Wan't able to be dark tonight because of the convo but still trying here. Just sticking to DBing, seeking any and all advice and preparing for the inevitable. Chris
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
Hey...don't say anything about going dark. just do it! don't mention anything that you are doing...just do it.
If you bring it up, it will look like you are doing it only because you want her back. Yes, that's one ultimate goal, but in reality, some of the things you do are really for yourself. By going dark, you can stop causing more pain and hopefully take a sort of "time out" during this process.
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
I get it now. So, now I just need to figure all the other stuff out. Heading home. We'll see if the W decides to head out. I'll be back on in an hour or so. Chris
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
Okay. Going dark is going to be tough if she keeps on asking if it's okay that she goes out and tells me what time she'll be home! I think I might have been a little curt with her in my response so i'll have to be more careful. But geesh! Why must she tall and ask if she wants all this? us it simple courtesy? Guilt?
So she'll be home by midnight. Anyone care to place a bet?
Me 34 W 33 D 4 S 2 M 5 T 8 Bomb 6/17/08 Served 7/17/08 I hate Tuesdays! Current Thread
From her point of view, it may be about coordinating to make sure someone is taking care of the kids.
I'm totally butting in here, but I think that an affair is an affair, regardless of the gender of the OP. The complicating factor is someone realizing/no longer hiding from the reality of their sexuality. Only your W can sort that out.
I'm guessing a lot of them would say they were interested until it actually happened. Then they'd probably run like hell!
You are probably right. Fantasy is always better than reality.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
