Hi LMH -

I hope I can help, but it's not like I really have all the answers either. \:\)

My H had an A/MLC too. When we decided to reconcile, one of the things he said was "I don't want to talk to her ever again, but I also don't want to pretend that she never existed. She is part of my PAST now and I'd even like to keep a picture of her." This was hard for me to hear (esp. since she was a model! \:\( ) BUT I think the important thing to concentrate on the fact he is choosing to be with YOU, not her!

Have you had any past relationships? Don't you still have pictures (and memories too)? Doesn't mean you want to go back to that person or time in your life, but it IS part of who you are today.

Having said all this (and sounding all sure of myself and confident) I admit I am very scared and insecure too. Gaining trust again after an affair is unbelievably HARD... I've come to the conclusion that it just takes time. A LOT of time...

Hang in there. \:\)