You remember the first time you snuck out. Every muscle in your body.. your breath.. all seemed to make too much noise. You knew every creaky board in that house. Then when you finally got out the first time or two.. all you could think about was getting caught. Your friends could see it.. they were likely feeling the same way.. All I remember was the first couple of times sucked.. but things got better.
Pretty soon you realized.. that if you just walked normally.. nobody woke up. You started staying out later and later.. pushing the limits.
The question I have.. is what changed? The consequences didn't. The walk down the hall didn't. You made a decision.. that what you were doing was worth it.
You still look back fondly.. on the "wrong" decision.
"he (H) gave me one hell of a lashing...."
Now I saw this.. and had a lot of thoughts about it. I need you to clarify.. a little bit.
"yes it is in his interest to fix the pool, the deck(more of my inheritance) is custom built around the pool...so if the pool isn't there...the deck will look kind of ridiculous...but if he has to for any reason sell the house to pay me off(I don't like talking negative...because, this is going to work out!!) the deck and pool look nice together...now again, i have to think all of this and not say it to him!! LESSON LEARNED!!"
So like I said... you know what to do.. you just don't know HOW to do it. That fear.. has you clamped up. The blood is not getting to where it should. I have seen you dying since you two were waving at each other in the truck.
"i miss simplicity"
I am simplicity.. almost too a fault.
Look.. I am a outsider looking in. I don't want you to come back and say.. Forrest did it.. does not matter if it was good or bad. All I want you to see is the stuff you may be missing. I want you to use what I say.. your way.
People get stuck. Plain and simple. The more crap you pile on top of it.. the more stuck they are. Now.. I don't like to be stuck.. I will focus on why I am stuck.. fix it.. and move on. That works for some people.. It can backfire.
To me .. being honest here... You are stuck in the fear you created. There was a reason for you to WA.. Yea.. I don't remember.. but you wanted a change. Here it is. Now.. to me.. I would either want to stir it up enough to get closure.. or start over. So.. my pointed position to you is.. We are going to get some closure and move on with life.. or we are going to change things for the better.
All you have to do is lead the way.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
