If only there was no OW, I would be able to handle the rest, I know it. My H has been through so much in his life, and most of it he neatly packed away into a little box, far too small for the enormity of it all. I should have seen it coming, but I was pretty wrapped up in being a mom and my own insecurities. I'm not sure when OW came along, but I'm pretty sure it was b/f the PA started in Jan/06.
I know it's not about another person, but to me infidelity is a tough one to manage. And in saying that, I was guilty of an infraction of my own very early in our R (I was 20). It was stupid, meaningless but it hurts H even today. No wonder he doesn't believe I could ever forgive him for his A.
H was cycling closer & closer to me, then I found out about OW yet again. I gave the ultimatum, he tried (sortof) but I tried to rush it. Now we have taken many steps backwards.
But somehow I still believe that he will want to come back one day. The question is, can I detach and live my life so that there is someone to come back to? If I don't detach, I know our M is doomed for I will self-destruct. If I do detach, there is a risk I will detach too much, and then I will walk away. This is a very tricky balancing act - I should join Cirque de Soleil!
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
