i have the same sitch w my fam and it was poisonous to my M as well...it is not easy to figure it all out- but just start with one piece of the puzzle and go from there... if you get a chance you can bring up a little - maybe things you've learned about how to stand up to them or how it affected your wife...do you think she would like ot hear about that?
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese