For the Guy with kids and a WW 6

[hopeful4her]

wdid, I understand what you are trying to tell me. On my way home from work just now, I was thinking that I will give an ultimatum if she does leave. For now, papers are not signed. Still. I will continue to talk to her. Last night would have not been good as she was in a mood.

I forgot to also mention that I realized her friend came for her monthly visit. I think over night. Small part for the mood. The other part was seeing the financial position we are in. Together. I know with what she bought on Sunday, she was going to be a little short. She probably thought she could just transfer a few $'s from the joint account. When she saw the balance, I guess she felt like she had to do something. He must have given her his ATM card sometime in the beginning of the year.

Other than just keep on asking her and talking to her, I don't see how she will change the course she is on. If I have to do that, then I just need to suck it up and continue what I have been doing. Even I have mentioned that if she leaves, she is so stubborn, I don't think she will admit wanting to come back.

I have thought about offering my help in her ending things with OM, but I have no idea how to offer it. It sounds so surreal. I guess it will be through honest talks with her.

On the leaving, maybe trying to sit down with her and looking at it financially. I really don't know. Trying an in home seperation? I move into another room.

The key is getting her to end her R with OM. If not possible, then I can't do it anymore. How to convince her of what she knows she should do. To get her to actually do it?

I don't know.

Tom, yeah, too much emotion. I was just getting things out. Don't know if it is the best course of action to take. I don't believe she has thrown any of my letters away. I have taken some back with out her remembering. It was all the cards I have given her recently. About 8 of them that I thought she threw out.

She didn't.

If we fall apart, do I want this to go nice or go ugly. I have always been the "get better results with honey" kind of guy. It seems like if I still hold hope, which I do, then I have to maintain some friendship with her. I just may not mention any friend stuff at all. Nor mentioning the helping and so on.

It will be my actions. I suppose it will just have to be a conversation. If she is unable to end it with OM, then my stance will be for her to just divorce me. She will know that it is not what I want to happen, but no choice if she can't end it. It sounds like a bluff. Saying something that you really don't want to happen. But I will accept it if that is what she does.