Fire update - winds have changed direction so we are no longer in the path of the fire, and the air outside our house is a little clearer (still it's like walking into a very smoky bar every time you walk outside). Almost 300,000 acres burned in the county, almost 1,000 homes. I keep thinking that somewhere in the 1,000 is some poor LBS who was struggling to keep it together for the kids.
On a lighter note - went out to dinner last night with H and we were talking a little about the R (no, I didn't initiate). H had gotten an email from an old high school girlfriend asking about their upcoming reunion (which my H isn't attending because they were all so terminally boring at his 20th!). Anyway, she's having some problems with a H in MLC and he gave her some advice. He was also VERY aware of the dangers of ex-girlfriends and made sure he told me all about it.
Anyway, H also sent an email to our ex MC yesterday, telling him how well we were doing, and also telling him how important getting treated for his depression was to our R (this is the MC who basically blew me off when I told him H was depressed, and never discussed the idea of treatment with my H).
So anyway, somehow later the phrase "asian women" came up in conversation very tangentially, (OW was Asian) and H rushed to reassure me. I commented that at least if he had to have an affair with an Asian woman, I was grateful he picked someone who wasn't really that attractive (think Chinese peasant, not Lucy Liu). H told me something really funny. He said that one thought he had during the affair was "gee, if I had to fall "in love" with someone, why couldn't I have fallen in love with someone more attractive?". I know it's a little mean of me, but I really got a chuckle out of that!
I like the DB at work idea. I find myself using it at times without even thinking about it. Even gave a coworker some DB advice to use with someone she was "ruffled over". It has so many applications. Folks are used to me using the term now, so when I say "Hey, you just DB'd!", they understand what I mean.
I'm glad your house is okay and that you are safe.
Me 47 Ex H 46 Bomb 9/02 D final 3/04 Ex H now married to OW
------------ This is surviving. There is no such thing as a normal life, there's just life. So get on with it and enjoy it!
Fire update - Fog this morning! This is very good as it means the onshore flow is really happening and that means higher humidity, which is good. Also means the air in our coastal neighborhood is smelling much better. Still, the fire continues and is threatening a historic town called Julian in the mountains - famous locally for its fresh apple pies, a popular "Sunday drive" destination for San Diegans - it will be a real shame if it burns, but it's not looking too good right now.
A couple of other mountain communities were completely devastated overnight.
Basically, almost all the open space to the east of the city has been scorched.
Meanwhile, things are good here with my H. Am counting my blessings.
Lost a firefighter yesterday - truly tragic. Winds onshore with clouds today - good from a humidity standpoint, but winds are pretty strong and in yet another direction, so the fire may get pushed into a new area. Still far from me.
On the home front - H has a new title for me - Permanent Girlfriend. See, when we first started working things out, H kept referring to me as his new girlfriend. I went along with it, but I admit it always bothered me a little - like he was trying to avoid the idea of commitment, or that the "old me" was so awful. Well, this morning H started talking about it (I SWEAR I am not starting these talks!) and said he really meant that he should treat me like you would a girlfriend, doing all the things you would for a girlfriend, because you WANT to do them, not because you feel trapped. And I said I understood all that, and that was great, but it only used to bother me a little because you don't necessarily stick with a girlfriend through thick and thin, through the tough times - so he decided to call me his Permanent Girlfriend! Isn't that sweet? I told him I REALLY liked that!
Last night I stayed home with oldest 2 kids while H drove S11 and his buddies down the hill to THE neighborhood that everyone trick-or-treats in. H ended up staying and socializing with his friends while I watched a movie and helped D13 prepare for her friends who were coming later to spend the night. H came home in a huggy mood but unfortunately he had to go to bed early because he has to work early this a.m., and I had to stay up to get the dozen kids spending the night here settled down. Later, when I came to bed, H told me something sweet about how much he loves me. Then I fell asleep and had this horribly realistic nightmare in which my H was moving out and saying it was over for sure. In the middle of it, I remembered what he had said to me before I fell asleep and said to myself - "hey, this isn't right - he just said XYZ - OH - it's a dream!!!!"
You guys come up with the best lines..........My first W, perm GF. What's next? LOL
By the way, my W got a kick when I used "My First W......" I hope I get to used it again on her, it kinda drives a point home that in the end, we all change. We even change for the better, not jus the worst.
Take Care,
Berto
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts,that laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death
