Today I saw my lawyer. I was armed with my list of questions, partially filled out forms. She spoke of how we have to start moving, getting some sort of settlement set up. I nodded. She was willing to work with the tax lawyer/financial advisor to set up something they thought would work. She said she found spouse's lawyer to be practical and good at managing spouse but that spouse was getting antsy about getting the divorce over and done with.
I listened, went to talk and the tears started flowing. Why was it that an attorney's conference room was a safe place to cry, or someplace I couldn't help but cry. She'd told spouse's lawyer that I was having a difficult time with the emotions, to give me some time. Spouse is frazzled and she felt he was doing some passive aggressive moves by stopping the direct deposit. All that does is cause a motion to be filed.
I tried reading from a list of prepared questions. My voice choked, tears came.. and I knew I had that ugly crying face going. They just came, no sobbing, just tears.
I told her all I could remember.. about when I met the girlfriend a year ago, other details.
By the time we were done, I did feel better. I committed to finishing the financial affidavit and moving forward. It's time to work on the settlement, to focus on my present future rather than hopeful past.
