That was such a wonderful post. I agree with it you were able to put into words how I have been feeling and trying to do in my own sitch.
FA,
My hubby is a young one for this crisis but all the characteristics and things match. God moved the "mountain" away from my marriage over a year ago, but he still has not come completely home yet. I guess you can say he never fully left though either. He is still dealing with all these emotions and things in his head. My hubby has a place he rents he comes over here on a regular basis even though I am not working during the summer. He is still here about 6 days out of the week. He is definately getting better but I can tell that something still weighs heavy on him and it is such a slow process. But when its slow they heal much better than a forced rush.
My husband's crisis, where I could see it, started on Oct 2006. He just was not himself and began to withdrawal really bad. Then by March I guess he tried to use something other than alcohol although the alcohol consumption also increased significantly. The alcohol was probably the catalyst for the other nonsense now that I think about it. I prayed and prayed and prayed and about four months later God removed that interference. I did get a chance to talk to her once. She had nothing good to say about my hubby and he didnt have anything nice to say about her either. So God sent her away. But my hubby was still not yet himself. He told me once his head was spinning out of control and he felt like he was about to explode. Every now and then he would talk to me about his feelings. I learned to let him be.
No R talk, no questions, I did have an occasional backslide. I am here for him when he needs me. I try to be nice and loving to him at all times. He stopped spewing at me. Instead he would spew at his friends. I assumed it stopped completely but then I found out it only stopped with me. We did have a moment a few months ago, but it was the first time in seven months. So no pressure helped us to be able to interact much much better. It has also kept the door shut on anymore intereference.
But you see even though there is no one in the way. Its not even about another person. Its about their crisis and what they need to go through to heal. My husband is healing. I see more of him as the weeks go by. He does have his cycles though. But even in cycling he stays close to me and the kids. I have my cycles too but then God reveals something to me that its ok and that He is working on bringing my hubby back home.
