Talking some more last night with my H about this conflict he's having at work. Have been sharing DB techniques with him to deal with it, and he was doing well until yesterday. Then he confided in a friend who acted like the typical friend who tells you not to forgive your spouse (because they don't want to see you hurt)- friend was all riled up, how dare they treat him this way, etc. - got H all riled up. So later, when he ran into one of the offending individuals, he couldn't resist making a dig at her. Realizes it was totally counterproductive, but he was just so emotional and feels so betrayed by these people.
I told him about the problem of "digs" in piecing (see my discussion with Grislen on his thread). Then I said - "imagine that sense of betrayal you feel right now, magnify it 1,000 times, and then imagine being calm and rational DBing through it - I deserve a high five, don't I?" It came out in a very positive way, not a dig - but I do think it helped my H imagine a little more of what I went through.
