Buster, it is never to late to save a relationship. However, not all relationships can be saved. I have a friend who is coming up on two years that he has been divorced and he told me one time that I should keep working on things until I had done all that I could do. If I did that he said, then I would never sit in an empty house or an empty apartment, lonely and depressed wondering if I just hadn't tried hard enough. I've taken that to heart. DBing is harder than professing my undying love and sending gifts and flowers and e-mails and texts. It's much harder. It's the internal growth that I needed for me and for my kids, not for her. However, I'm hopeful that she will be drawn back by the amazing life that the kids and I have in front of us.
I'm assuming from your question "How can you turn your back on someone you had a child with?" that you are referring to your W. Immaturity and pain. I'm no saint. There are times when I think about my Father, Mother, and Stepdad and I wouldn't care if the whole lot of them got killed tomorrow. I'm trying to work through those issues. One day I may even try and contact my Father.
Yes, you screwed up. So, just like quitting smoking. Get up, brush yourself off and start over. You have to think longer term. I know it isn't easy. I've got a couple of guardian angels over in the "Now we're separated forum" They were a big help even last night. A single shooter of Southern Comfort was helpful too.
So, it sounds like you have grown a little bit even in the last couple of days. Now, like an adult and a man, suck it up and get back to work. If you still haven't gotten Michelle's book, go get it and find something to do that can take your mind off of your marriage when you aren't sleeping or at work.
