H has been having some issues at work the last couple of days, and I find myself giving him all kinds of DB advice - "act as if", "will this get you closer to your goals" etc. Amazing how applicable all this stuff is, and what a useful toolbox it is to have!
Also wanted to share a "piecing" tool my H and I use. Whenever stuff comes up about our old dysfunctional patterns with each other, we refer to things our "ex" spouse (meaning ourselves before the bomb) used to do. This frees us to talk about some things we don't like without implying that we don't think our spouse has changed - i.e. "hey, my ex-husband used to tell me to go work out on Saturday morning but then when I got home he'd be really pissed because he would have spent the morning cleaning - you're not like that, right?"
