Like the MLCer, I too go through my own cycling. Do I want to stand? Yes/No. Is it worth it? Yes/No. Can I wait this out? Of course/I'm going crazy. Is H ever going to stop lying to me? H is not that kind of person/Maybe he has lied to me his whole life. Is H ever going to come out of this? I guess that answer is yes, but how much damage will he have caused...
Some days I'm good, great in fact. Other days, not so much. Some of my cycling is hourly. It occupies so much of my head space that I get little done at work or at home.
I know that the only way to survive this is by knowing that this is NOT about me. I know H will come out of it eventually. I know that OW is just a "drug". I know these things b/c I have read them over and over. It's living them that's the hard part. Making the heart listen to the head...
Thank you Bill, I appreciate your thoughts.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
