Helping OW??

[fooled again]

BFM,

Maybe I do need to read up on Al Anon. My H does also exhibit addictive behavior but I'm not certain if this is simply self-medication. Clearly addiction is something that has been a problem in two of his sibling's lives.

No, he can't decide, but you can't decide for him and nothing you can do or say will push him toward a decision. Nothing she can do or say will push him toward a decision either.

I guess that's the crux of it, realizing that this person who was such an important part of my life is now completely out of my realm of influence. I suppose I did try to control H for a long time, and unbeknownst to me, H has been pulling away for years, trying to get away from it. I wonder if by letting go I can show him that I don't want to control him, I want to share my life w/ him. I just hope and pray that OW WILL try to control him, try to fix him, try to get him to stop his habit. I mentioned to her that her money is likely a draw, but now I wonder if she could come to use it to control H, make him do what she wants. I know, I know, stop wasting my energy wondering about OW and H and all of it. It is like my own addiction...

I was filling in a relationship fitness questionnaire and I realized that I feel as though I don't know him anymore. Our lives do not overlap much now, except wrt our D & household things, and the times we spend together.

When I first indicated that I was interested in learning to golf, H was intrigued, then later offered to help teach me. This was the first overlap in our "interests" in a long time. I worry that I have pushed him away so that I don't even have that. But I am hoping that this could be a starting point for some connection that is not sexual or related to D or the house.

I look forward to your list of books and I will continue to read your old posts.

FA