"Pool: you and I know our "secret" so I would not like to "bulldoze" the pool, I would like to come up with a mutual agreement to remedy the situation...without leading on to the "secret"!! a decision I can live with, that won't lead him to think this is going to be tough...i can recommend a pool company come out and check it out, no problem and have them close, and tell him, we will worry about it later...outcome of that i feel could become dramatic; i tell him to do what he feels is best and i respect whatever decision he chooses to make, then later down the road when things work out (i'm a postive girl) i have to buy another pool....that sucks arss..."
Nobody said life was easy.. or would not have some "Drama". If you tear it down and then have to buy another pool.. it might bring some resentment from you. If you have someone check it and give you a honest idea of how much work it is.. he might resent you because he thinks he is right. #1.. you two are still married even though you are not "living" a married life. You have to meet in the middle somewhere. I am fine with whatever you want to do.. you are the only one I can hear from.. so I can make a case for either situation. Still you have to make the decision..
"me texting him, he started to feel comfortable, he called, it wasn't the "real" issue....it was a starting place.... a subject starter...would he have went "there" had I not screwed it up...or would it just stayed a casual chat?"
Maybe it would have been casual. The problem is he is still hurting from the WA. He still has some issues from that. They are his.. and he will have to figure out what to do with them. I suspect he was seeing the txt's and going.. "Why Now?" I told you guys like "Face to Face". So he called to see whats up.
"need to fix the pool....how without him knowing our "secret" that is the question!"
Tell him you called the pool guy.. and he said he really needed to look at it to give the best assessment of what to do with it. You would hate to tear the pool down.. just in case he (your H) ever felt like he wanted to take up swimming. But if the pool guy says it is hopeless.. then you are open to tearing it down. You are willing to help with the cost.. for whatever needs to be done. You don't want it to be solely his problem.
Anything untruthful there?
So.. what happens when/if you guys get D. Do you already have the property/money split up. I am sure you told me this.. but I forgot.
"no he never said stop texting me, or leave me alone"
If you were really mad.. or done with someone.. wouldn't you make sure they heard it?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
