I can totally see how the pieces would have been hard to put together at the time, especially when adding in your tendancy to be a Nice Guy.
A word about the Nice Guy...
We like him, too. He can be a turn on, too. Similar to how a man (typically) wants a lady in the street and a tiger in the bedroom, we sometimes just want a Nice Guy in the street and a Bad Boy between the sheets. I have a girlfriend who is married to what on the outside looks very much like a Nice Guy, even a little bit too whipped, as he adores her just a tiny bit too much (like a puppy). But in the bedroom, he is apparently a total freak and she is one too, so they have this great balance.
I just wanted to say that because, the Nice Guy isn't always a 100% turn off. Its just how he handles himself in other areas of his life that makes the difference.
Not saying that is you or not you. Just a point.
I definitely see what you are saying about the women who end up with Bad Boys and how they end up in the infidelity forum or in the walk-away. Yes, true Bad Boys seem to have a wandering lust that can't really be pinned down. But...one observation I have made on this subject is that a lot of Bad Boys do grow out of it, and if they haven't damaged their own hearts by too many bad relationships, then when they grow out of it they are actually not the heartbreakers they used to be. I think that lifestyle eventually makes them older than their years and then they finally want to settle down.
Those are just ramblings...not necessarily about your or my sitch.
As for my comment about mocking the romance novel guys...well, mocking may not be the right word, but if you will consider how many women will normally "mock" porn and porn-looking girls, I would bet most men similarly "mock" romance novels and the men on the cover. What is really happening is that we are all instinctively jealous of these other fantasy people, and to mock them is the only way we can try to one-up them by claiming that its "stupid" to wish for something that doesn't exist.
I see this all over the place - back and forth - and I know I brought up porn on your thread earlier. I'm not saying you necessarily mocked those guys, but I bet most men would and do the same way most women mock porn.
(I don't mock either one...my position on that subject is somewhat different...)
But back to my point....here's the bottom line....now that you will act more and more like those romance novel guys, I bet your wife will act more and more like a porn star for YOU and you will even get to ask her for a few special favors soon. In other words, right now you are learning how to really be the man she wants you to be and which will turn her on endlessly. Once the genie comes out of her bottle, she's going to start turning to you and saying "gee, what little fantasy girl can I be for YOU tonight". This is what happens when a woman is fulfilled on all levels.
