Rusty, I'm sorry you've been having such a tough time. One thing, detaching from your situation, or from your husband, means not having expectations of how he should be feeling, or behaving. You are building your own life, with or without him, and to continue to be angry with him because he didn't do this, or he didn't call when you wanted him to, is not detachment.
Being friendly and open is for YOU. It's less aggravating in the long run, keeps you from saying things you regret, leaves the door open for a new relationship with your husband.
I understand being jealous of your H's ability to do some things. I"ve been jealous of my H's trips, or things he plans with the kids. It doesn't feel good.
That's why you need to detach from H. And the best way to detach is to take the focus off of what he might be doing and how you think he should be acting, and put it squarely back on what you are going to do with the rest of your life. Or maybe just the next two days!
Hugs! Hang in there
Married: 25 years Separated: 5 years Kids: 2, ages 21 and 24 Me: 53 H: 50
