Fooled Again,
I am sorry to see that your H was just peeking again. It really sounds as though he is still very confused. But it also seems as though you have figured out that you will still stand for your M no matter what.

I do think that the ultimatum that you gave him probably pressured and scared him enough to come back on the surface, but their is still a whole iceburg below it that needs to really still figure things out. He obviously doesnt want to throw in the towel completely yet, and his short return to you proves it. I know the pain you are in, and unfortunately it still sounds as though there is more of that to come. Hold on tight sweety, you have a power you dont even know, but he can not deny it.

I was so hoping that your H had really figured it out this time, but it was most likely due to the pressure from the ultimatum. Dont regret it, but be careful not to push him too much more at this time. Do as you have been, and again: detatch!!!

You can do this, you are so strong. You know what you want, so even if it does take a whole lot more time, never give up. You said that the OW even said that she thinks you two will end up together, so listen! That should tell you right there that she doesnt have him completely either. Dont play tug of war with her though, it seems it may bring some problems your way.

I know what I am about to say may not be the best peice of advice, but I know you are about at your wicks end. So one time way back, i read that to win back a love sometimes the lbs should consider dating. That doesnt mean to have sex with someone else. But simply hang out a lot with another man. This is extreme, I know, and it goes against DBing, but it may be helpful in your circumstance.

When I went on the one date to a black tie affair with someone that was compatible with me, I noticed a quick turn in my H. Never will he admit it, but I know that he was afraid that I may be moving on too fast. It did not bring my H back to me, but it sure did set us up for a turn of events that eventually got us back to peicing. I since have told my H all about the date, and even showed him pictures from the evening.

You do not need to take this advise and I am sure others will stongly contradict it. But It has worked for others, even me kindof. But it sure sounds to me that you could use some wine&dining from someone who may treat you special just as a friend. The man I went on the date with knew my situation and took me as a friend, and we never went on another date again. I did it for myself, to feel good & respected, and pretty & to have fun. That is all it was and it certainly brought up my spirits. It gave me confidence, and made me feel like a woman again. And I do believe that it also opened up my H's eyes a bit that he could loose me.

It seems to me in some of your recent posts that you have been too available to him, and are making it very clear to him that you will just wait around forever until he figures things out for himself - ultimatums or not. Shake things up a bit. Scare him a little. Be unavailable a lot. Dont answer calls - let him leave a message. Laugh and have as much fun with others (even men) and do things that make you happy in the meantime. Make him really sense that you are moving on>>>even if you know in the back of your mind that you want your M -- you still need to try and put him out of your heart for now.
GOOD LUCK - I know it is easier said than done.
TIPPER