Peaked out of tunnel but now back in?

[mlh78]

I've been a long-time "lingerer" but have never posted before. My husband's "stuff" started about 14 months ago and it has been a crazy roller-coaster ever since.

Summary of things (sorry, kind of long):
We have been friends since 1997, dating since 2001, married in 2004.

May 2007: Around our 3rd wedding anniversary, he was about to turn 30, finish grad school and we were about to start trying to get pregnant, he went off the deep end. Within a month of returning from a great (I thought) vacation to Italy, he was out the door.

He did the whole shebang: started/continued an affair with a trainwreck, married co-worker, told me I love you but I'm not in love with you, probably never was in love, he couldn't say "I want a divorce" enough. Essentially, I was the reason for his unhappiness.

Initially, I did everything wrong: begged, sobbed, trash-talked OW, ranted about marriage vows, etc. Eventually, I went to counseling on my own, started reading Michele's books, put myself back together, re-entered the world of the living.

Winter 2007-2008: Had a couple outbursts from him, professing his love for the OW, etc. but overall, we had limited, infrequent contact. Sometimes he wanted to talk, catch up, other times he just wanted to be really mean.

April 2008: he filed for divorce. I learned later that around this time he and OW were breaking up or going through a rough patch or something.

May 2008: Husband and I started talking again. Mostly little stuff here and there.

June 2008: We started talking/texting more regularly. By mid-June, he admitted that he didn't know what he felt about staying married/getting divorced but he knew that he missed me. I told him he had to end all contact with OW so we can continue talking. Last week, he agreed to stop talking to her, get a new cell phone/number, and pushed for me to agree to couples counseling. I agreed to go.

I went out of town for the 4th of July and by the time I came back, all bets were off. It is the same crap he was saying last summer--I need to be on my own, divorce is the best path for us, I still want you in my life after this, etc. He swore that he isn't talking to OW (pretty sure that he's lying). Couples counseling got cancelled, needless to say, and divorce stuff is "back on."

I thought that he was starting to come out of the tunnel but now it feels like nothing has changed.

What is happening?