maybe I'm just bitter, but when I was blindsighted with the I don't love you speech in feb and he assured me there was no one else, for that month that he was still in the house I did so many 180's it wasn't even funny. he noticed and commented. we had the best sex ever. I defended him to everyone that he could NEVER cheat!
but guess what? the whole time, there WAS an ow, probably going back a few months prior and he has even admitted that he was never thinking of leaving the marriage until he met her. like she "opened his eyes".
so yes, we can try to be better people for the sake of ourselves, but I truly believe after going through this, that the rush (it literally is the same rush as when one gets addicted to a drug), is so intense that we pale by comparison until the "drug" wears off. Now you either have the patience to wait that our or you don't.
for me, he drew the line when he tried to take our daughter from me - that's when I filed. I'm still db'ing but now it's for me and for the sake of better communication for the sake of co-parenting.
he is still in the throws of the affair and at this point, after all the lies and re-writing history, etc, she can have him.
