Surviving is what it's all about. It's why we're all in this forum, regardless of what some seem to think. You definitely don't have to plan a wedding with the first, or every, or any, person you date. You DO have to enjoy yourself. If you aren't, then you need to make that happen, whether with this person, on your own, or with someone else.
My own perspective, just based on what I know of you and what you posted above . . .
. . . maybe you're not ready for dating. Could it be that CSWB and the HoodRat are on your mind because you haven't processed that stuff yet? There's nothing wrong with that. It's one of those things that takes time. I think I got it easy, because in my case mental illness and all that made it very clear that the person I married didn't exist. Not so much processing to do there. Most people don't have that "luxury". And it's OK if it's taking a minute or so. Let it happen.
