Hi all - seems I've been posting everywhere but on my own thread lately. Had a nice interlude with my H last night - sitting after dinner and talking a little bit about the R. He seems to have really understood the role this last episode of depression has had on his perceptions. I think the prozac is kicking in already as he seems much less irritable. He has been so good lately about reassuring me and giving me positive affirmations. I hope I am doing as good a job of meeting his needs.
I talked a little about the bb, and wondered how many WAS's are suffering from clinical depression - I suspect a large percentage. They feel so awful, and there are problems in this R (as most R's have) and in looking for an explanation, it seems logical to them at the time that YOU must be the cause of their pain and discomfort. Because of their depression, they see only the negatives and not the positives - leading to the "rewriting of history" which happens so often. The surge of brain chemicals they get with the infatuation in the affair gives them some temporary relief from their depression symptoms - so they think that's the issue, that they are "in love" with the OP and not with you.
I think maybe this is why so many WAS's come home, contrite and remorseful, swearing their love - and then leave the next week and go back to the OP. I never could figure this out - but I suspect it happens because their depression is so unbearable, and if they are returning to the same home, nothing really that different, same routine - plus the guilt and shame of the affair - well, there is nothing to stimulate those brain chemicals they are so in need of, and their depression worsens.
I thank god that my H was willing to go on antidepressants in the first place, and willing to try them again when his mood started to deteriorate. He is really such a great guy.
