We aren't telling you to fight for your marriage or give up. We're all here fighting for our marriage. And in that process, in using DB techniques, you discover that things don't work so well when you're focused on the other person. By making yourself better, you become happier and more enjoyable to be around. You relax more and probably become easier to be with. Is that giving up? You can label it that way if you want but I don't think the rest of us do.
That said, you have to be realistic. She's given up or she'd be trying harder to make the M work. So you have to find a balance between what you have been doing and what attracted her in the first place.
What you can SAY is to be a friend. Be consistent in your words and actions and put things back into a comfortable space.
It didn't get to this point overnight, and it won't get fixed overnight, so try to figure out what the baby steps are and try to prepare yourself for the fact that it takes a long time.
