Go to your doctor and get on some sleeping meds for now. They have helped me out a little bit.

Is your H reading your journals? That would majorly tick me off. A sign of respect is not reading your thoughts. Have you made it clear to him that your journals are for you and he is not to read them? How about an online journal just for you to see? I have used livejournal before and you can make it for your eyes only.

Me-31 H-38
M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs
No kids
Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06
Found out about OW 12-24-07
Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08
OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08
OW is back 4-19-08
H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08
Filed for divorce 6-5-08
Divorced 7-2-08