Withdrawal of OM and coping

[runningoutoftime]

Okay, next step is a sex therapist. And don't put it off.

[whatdidido]

Sex therapist.....I hate my life.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sex therapist.....I hate my life.

WDID,

This sounds like something my teenaged daughter would say.

Puppy

[whatdidido]

I know like oh my gawd!:)

Really, though, I don't care how I sound, Puppy....I do hate my life. You try not having sex with your W for 3 years, have no memories of times when you laughed together, get back together, be depressed, and have to make an appointment with a sex therapist. Would you like that life?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Other than a brief spurt last fall, I hadn't made love to my wife once in three years, and only about three times in five years. We haven't made love since Christmas. We're deeply in debt, barely staving off foreclosure on our house, my credit rating resembles Chipper Jones' batting average.

But my kids love me, I'm healthy, I have a great job, my wife is otherwise good to me, and I live in the greatest country on God's green earth.

Sometimes you have to look at the good.

Puppy

[whatdidido]

Ok enough of me whining about everything...you're right....so many people have things wayyyy worse than me. Sorry.

Puppy....what are you and your W doing about the sex problem?

[whatdidido]

Puppy- That may be something you didn't want to share. I understand.

Last night H and I talked and talked. We both keep saying that we may not have had the beginning relationship like most, but maybe we can get that now???? We keep saying that we are still together and that has got to mean something. AFter all of this, we are still together. It has to be more than our S because honestly having him see this "friend relationship" cannot be good modeling as to what a marriage is. I thought about the whole codependency or enmeshment thing going on. I don't feel like I need him to be happy, I want to be happy with him. I know I can live on my own.

I still have thoughts of the OM and what I may have lost there. YEs, part fantasy, but part reality. There were things about him that H will never be able to do because it is a diff personality type. I do think that if I hadn't been married yet and I was out dating men, including OM and H, H would not win out. Funny thing is, H said last night that if I put him on equal ground as the OM, with no baggage of the past, he'd have more of a chance. Hmmmmm.......not sure.

[runningoutoftime]

Has OM ever been married?

I'm not familar with sex therapy, but I think it's your H who needs to go. Not you. So don't freak out.

[Sara]

Why would it be her H who has to go? His Dr. gave him pills. He's ready. She admits to lacking desire for the man.

[hopeful4her]

Keep talking to him, wdid. Get things out in the open. Yes, sometimes you will hear something that you may not agree with, but talking and sharing has to be good.

I am going to keep trying.