L doesn't think it will drop that much, maybe 130 a month. L also said once again it is done as soon as it is filed. So I could be divorced as soon as tomorrow. Just need to have papers signed by us and the judge. Even if I don't sign, I am still divorced.
I never thought this would happen in a million years( well until a few months ago that is) and now that it is right here, it just makes me sick. The good thing though is that I won't have to have him ever lie to me again because I won't give a damn.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
That is right kat! You don't have to deal with the lies ever again from him. Isn't that liberating? It is very sad. I guess I am divorced because I signed the papers, he signed the papers and the judge signed. But then he or I have 30 days to appeal. It is difficult, believe me I know. I will be thinking about you tomorrow.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Thanks, I don't know if there is any kind of grace. I am sure it wouldn't matter that I never wanted this because he does or are you just talking about grace period in that I am not happy with something and how it was addressed and then I could revisit that issue? Sorry about the long sentence teach! lol
Can't believe it will be over and so hard to believe we ended this way...with a bunches of lies and betrayal.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
It is incomprehensible all around. None of us imagined this when we said our vows. But remember, it is not for lack of effort on your part that this is happening. Even though we all had a part in the troubles in our M's, we also were willing to make an effort to address them. Not run away when fantasy arrived.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Kat, honey, I'm concerned for you. You need to accept this and turn your back on him. I know you're hurting and I understand, but you have to be responsible for yourself and that means not allowing H to have control over your own self-worth.
What does it tell you about H that it is ending in lies and betrayal? That he was not the person you thought he was. That you shouldn't be putting up with him. You have dignity and integrity - it's time to bolster that within yourself.
The infidels try to make us feel guilty for their sins, but that's just ridiculous. We shouldn't feel bad about ourselves because of them. We should rejoice that we're better than that.
I had hope too. I still have hope, but I'm not going to let that hope cloud my vision any longer. The thing with DB is that the techniques are great, but if there is an A, the other person HAS to WANT to work hard to preserve the M.
Here's a link to something that helped me and maybe it'll help you. I hope so because I hate to see you hurting like this. I know why you are and I'll probably be in the same spot when my D is final in October. Anyway, FWIW:
Thanks guys. Lodo, I have read that before but it has been a while. I'll have to print it off as a gentle reminder. I think it is good that I was angry today. My C actually thought I am almost to the point of focusing on me and the heck with him. I can't worry about him anymore.
I do get a bit dramatic and can be dark sometimes. Just the way I express myself. I still hate the idea of it ending legally, but I accept that it will happen in the next day or so.
I do have ideas brewing and I am working on my own babysteps, you guys might just have to help give me a push now and then!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks Yoyo. I feel torn between anger, sadness, trepidation. I'll be ok but I want more than that. I want to feel normal for me or better than that even. I don't want to feel like I am just going through the motions.
I will heal, I will just have a scar. Now for those babysteps.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You will, kat. You are scarred but not broken. These last couple of days, thinking about a move alone, thinking about W still with OM, makes me feel like I'll never get over the loss. But rationally, I know I will. You will too. You're too special to get stuck in this rut.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Right back at you. Today/tomorrow will be hard but what can I do? At least I know I am not alone but I really could use a real hug. I'll just have to bundle my kids around me and ask them to hold on tight!
So another week of vacation is gone for you but look at the progress you have made. I am really proud of you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
